Pre-Marital Sex

I have just read the SUN newspaper recently, an article about "Britons fine with pre-marital sex." It attracted me. What the newspaper has failed to analyze is Malaysians' opinion about pre-marital sex. Anyway, according to the Sun Newspaper, "Britons are taking a more liberal attitude towards sex and marriage, but retain traditional views on how best to raise children."

So this is what Britons think about it. I am here to talk about what Malaysians' think about pre-marital sex. First of all, generally, people in Malaysia has been brought up to conform themselves into social norms and values. That includes religious values as well. Remember back to our grandmothers' and grandfathers' time, pre-marital sex is a serious no no! For an example, in the Indian culture back to those days, if a girl had an intercourse before marriage, she is said to be an outcast and nobody is suited to marry her. She is spoiled and she has no dignity and self respect for herself and her family.

I believe every religion does not sustain to the idea of pre-marital sex. In Christianity for example, says, "Thou should not commit adultery" under the Ten Commandments. Even Islam goes against the idea of pre-marital sex. Nonetheless, as the world and society moves towards modernization, every person has different views about this issue. Even Bryan Wilson agrees that secularization is taking place. Furthermore, August Comte believed that human history will come across the positive stage (Science alone will dominate human thinking and behaviour) after theological and metaphysical stage.

As we can see, religious views do play a part in this question. According to Miss SK, under a religious context, she believes, pre-marital sex is not accepted. In her view, Malaysians’ are embarrassed to admit that pre-marital sex without a doubt is a biological need. However she also said apart from that, pre-marital sex is fine as long as that person loves that special someone truly. According to another Malaysian, Mrs. SF, pre-marital sex is wrong in the context of Christianity. Another Malaysian, Miss R replied that she doesn’t agree to pre-marital sex because she as a Muslim lady is bound to rules and regulation. Many people are concern about the fact that their religious values hold strong principles which does not accept this issue of pre-marital sex.

Yet, as I mentioned earlier that since our society is progressing to a more modern way of thinking, they do not include religious ideals into what they wish to do. For instance, indirectly, 5 other Malaysians answered that pre-marital sex is not wrong without distinguishing their answers into traditional views and modern views. As we can perceive, even though an individual is bound to conform to meet the values and culture in the society, he or she still moves towards the expectations he or she wishes to meet. From the small sample of people I gathered information from, only 6 people including Miss SK agree and 2 disagree about pre-marital sex. This doesn’t mean that those 6 people aren’t religious. They are much more open as they move along to the flow of what is accepted in nowadays society.
Malaysians are more influenced with the Westerns’ lifestyle. And there’s nothing wrong about it. It is every person’s choice to become what and who they want to be.

However, parents’ and families still nurture their children according to the traditional values. Why?? Well most probably they don’t want their children ‘doing it’ with some orange stripe purple coloured hair dude who probably has himself infected with HIV/Aids disease?? Or a father doesn’t want his little princess getting pregnant at the age of 16 for unprotected sex? A family doesn’t want their pride and joy getting caught kissing and ‘doing it’ with a guy recording it in his ever so modern technological cell phone and soon leak it out in youtube and the internet? This is also another clear reason why so many Malaysians still disagree about pre-marital sex. But there’s another argument to this factor. We have so many married couples, caught in a video doing it with another person. Well there we go. “Post-marital sex??” How funny is that? You don’t want your beautiful daughter to commit pre-marital sex, and you’re so happy that she didn’t, and you married her off to some nice guy whom you thought was “THE ONE” for her and later find out when you are happily surfing the net that she has a short clip of her doing it with some guy whom you don’t even know????????? So you see, nowadays, everything takes place beyond your own expectations.

I am not questioning anything about how parents’ and families nurture their young. But what we have to understand here is that, the environment is changing. The young minds are so rebellious that if they find anything so attractive and interesting, and if they are not strong in holding into the principles and values that they have been thought to conform to within their own family, they are just going to build their own conception and principles and move on. This my friend, is what we call circle of life. You can no longer tell anyone what to do but only furnish an advice towards them no matter to the young or old.

In conclusion, I cannot say that Malaysians’ agree or disagree to pre-marital sex. I have only conducted my research in a small scale. There is certainly not enough data to proof a point. It is up to you as an individual to agree on this fact. But to my own assumption, to a certain level and I’m not speaking in a general manner, I think that most Malaysians find that pre-marital sex is fine and so on but it is not fine when one of their kin is committed to it. It is okay if they are committed into it but if their brother, sister or aunty commits it, it is so wrong!! So here I am sitting in between the fence.